Belle Belle ≠ Bell Bell

school starting...

1/18/2010 01:29:00 AM |

11/1/2010, third semester was starting.

I need to go to that stupid school again.

Well, I am having my third semester in first year. I am senior for freshie (=P).

Time passed so fast (haiz...). I have studied in Segi College for half a year already.

Now, I am getting to fit into the college life already. I am glad that I have known some good friends & classmates & schoolmates. Ms. Chantini, Mr. Francis can recognize & remember me well now ( =) ).

I am taking English composition II, management principle, intercultural communication & principle of sociology for this semester.
All are hard subjects for me( =( ).

Firstly, I am not good at writing essays on the spot. I have no idea whenever the lecturer asks us to write an essay on the spot & hand in immediately ( =( ). Moreover, I am good at writing love story or imaginative, but not at argumentative essay or academic composition. That is the reason why I always slow & fail at writing essay during exam ( =( ).

Secondly, Ms Padma has been my lecturer for basic composition I during my first semester. I have known her well. She is nice but strict. We have to do all the assignment perfectly to get marks from her. I feel stress in her class ( =( )

Thirdly, Ms Jamie has been my philosophy class's lecturer. She is much more stricter than Ms Padma & too responsible. She is moody. We need to observe her mood on that day during class. If she is in good mood, she will treat well to us & vise versa. In addition, We have to finish all the assignments & present every presentation in the most perfect way to get marks. She really gives us a lot of assignments & presentations due to the reason to get pass for that particular subject ( =\ ). Her classes always make me stressful & can not sleep well during tests & before the due date of hand in the assignments.

Fourthly, I do not know any theories of business core so I will feel a bit hard to catch up with classmates especially when doing the assignments. I can do business but I cannot study business. I do not know how to apply the theories in order to answer the questions that asked (=\). Mr Lee has taught us a lot of theories of marketing principle, but I could not answer situational questions (=\). Ms Linda teaches a lot of theory of management principle but she can teach until I feel asleep in her class (XP)

Well, I have to face reality after all. Whatever trouble I am facing now, I have to be confident & face up bravely & learn not to escape like last time. If other people can pass through all the difficulties & can have achievement, I can do that too.

GAMBATEH!!!

what am I according to you?

1/13/2010 01:29:00 AM |

Who am I according to you?
What am I according to you?

Why you are cool & cold to me?
Which location am I in your heart?
Where are you when I need you most?

How dare you to make sad?

According to you

I'm stupid

I'm useless

I can't do anything right

According to you

I'm difficult

hard to please

forever changing my mind

I'm a mess in a dress

can't show up on time

even if it would save my life

But according to him

I'm beautiful

incredible

he can't get me out of his head

According to him

I'm funny

irresistible

everything he ever wanted

Everything is opposite

I don't feel like stopping it

so baby tell me what I got to lose

He's into me for everything I'm not

according to you

According to you

I'm boring

I'm moody

you can't take me any place

According to you

I suck at telling jokes
cause I always give it away

I'm the girl with the worst attention span

you're the boy who puts up with it

I need to feel appreciated
like I'm not hated
why can't you see me through his eyes
it's too bad you making me decide

According to me

You're stupid

you're useless

You can't do anything right

2nd new year with SE

1/08/2010 04:26:00 AM |

"MERRY NEW YEAR!!!"

I learned this phrase from Keith & Wai Ye.

(Wow!!!) Time really flew without my notice.
I have not finished enjoying my 18th years old & yet my 19th birthday is coming.
I have wasted half of year of 2009 because I was in lost for choosing college & course; I have wasted another half of the year because I was trying to adapt into new school environment & failed general psychology (=.=''').

Well, finally, I was studying in Segi College Subang Jaya although it was not my will.
ADP course is my target, but, since I did not have the ability to study oversea, & Segi College has fulfilled the conditions, I was forced to study there.
So far, the best thing I have come across, I have known some 'whole brand new friends', who have taught me a lot, let me know that how true is the society & how big is the world outside my range.
I have known some brothers, whom I have met them but did not know them before. Aaron & Nath, who started to know my existence after M.A.D. camp.
& I never thought that many of my old school mates were studying at there.

Although I have faced many troubles in doing assignments & studying, I have passed it at last. I hope that I will doing my best starting from 3rd semester. & I have to be very serious eventually.

On the other hand, I was starting my first year of Christian life journey in 2009.
& I have baptized at less than 1-year-old(=/)
It was the boldest thing I have done(=/)
I have made so many new friends & known so many brothers & sisters in HSG.
I have transferred from English service to Chinese Service (=/).
I am so glad that I can serve God in Chinese Ministry. Finally, I can do something for my God ( =) ).
I have given a job in LCD department.
I have done my performances for OI function for my very first time.
I sincerely hope that I can be promoted to be the Head of the LCD department within this year & will not be lost to the English Ministry, on my own, without help from other people anymore (=P).
I really hope that I can play piano for P & W, since I am learning piano now, but it will take more time (=/).

Well, to welcome the coming year 2010, I was invited by youth to celebrate with them at Desa Petaling.

Last year, we were countdown in HSG. That was my first time to stay at church until so late & celebrated new year with friends.
That time, I was not too close with SE members, so I just followed Sam Chew wherever he went.
Well, I expected he would go for crazy for whole night & I told my mom that I would stay at his house. But, I never told her that they were so crazy until morning & drank alcohol (-.-''').

This year, because of renovation of church, there was no watch night in church.
Since Chew family has gone to Penang, honey family has gone to Genting Highlands, Yang told that he was going for his high school barbecue gathering, Chiow Yee planned for clubbing, there was no plan from our gang.

However, I had so many invitations suddenly, made me so surprised. I never thought that I would receive so many invitations at the same time.

There were 2 gatherings from high schoolmate, one was at Ben Yap's house, played for the whole night & then watched fireworks at the small hill near my house; the other one was at Yong Kien's house, barbecue gathering.
There was also a gathering from Power Group as usual on Thursday, at uncle Li Nan's house.

Yet, it seemed like I have already made my choice, haven't I?

I did not think I would like to join Ben's group because I have seen them on the day before.
I would like to join the barbecue gathering but I did not want to see Mr. Hoe Zi Ping, the annoying guy once.
I would like to join Power Group, since I have not seen them for months.

However, finally, I did not change my decision. I was still joining SE.

Well, there were some transport problems before we left.
At the destinations, there was a nice landscape, although it was not as nice as Ampang Look Up Point.
But, we were feeding by mosquitoes especially our blood group of B (-.-''').
Although there were not many people, we were having a good time, watched fireworks & singing.
Kok Jen, Vic & me left early & did not join them for drinks because Kok Jen is not a night person.

After all, it was not bad at all to celebrate new year in this simple way, no need to spend money for celebration.

P/S: Happy New Year, Dear. I Miss You.
Your morning greetings are my energy to start my day; your night greetings are the sweet dream for me. You know that, you have become my habit, you have made me to have a habit that checking messages on my phone once a while.

2nd Christmas in HSG

1/04/2010 04:15:00 AM |

I was celebrating my 1-year-old birthday of Christian life on 14/12/2009.

I was celebrating my second Christmas in HSG.

I am going to have my second year in HSG.

Unlike last year, I have not known many friends so I did not received any presents except from Sam Chew.

This year, I was celebrating with my brothers & sisters. I have made so many friends in HSG & I needed to prepare so many presents (wow!). I never bought so many presents once before.

I went shopping straight away after I finished my final paper.

I have never been shopping for almost everyday non-stop before. & I have never spent so much money at once (wow, my pocket money all gone now). & I was playing truant for my piano class because of shopping (>.<''').

I felt so excited before Christmas was coming.

I never had this feeling before. Maybe because of I did not celebrate with friends before. Or maybe because of I was celebrating with my dear, darling, sweetheart brothers, honey sisters.

We were having Christmas OI on 20/12/2009.

I just finished remembering all the steps 3 days before. & I was not very familiar even though we have practiced it for many times.

Well, on that day on stage, I was messed up with everything because of nervous (=/)

I was not nervous at the beginning, but I was in a mess when I saw dear (lol, all blamed dear=/)

Through this OI function, I have known a magician——Lee Zhi Seng, who used to be our church member. He has performed a great magic show for us ( =) ).

& he wanna me to be his gf very obviously.

Well, although I want to have a bf, I would not have chosen him because of his strength——magic show. This type of relationship would not be last long (=P).

We were discussing to go skating in Sunway.

Due to we could not find any parking, we headed to Puchong for lunch (=/).

Well, we found 2 parkings at one time after 1 hour, but Jamie wasted it ( =( ).

Sam Chew have found a parking & they went for skating as what we have discussed before.

But, honey sisters & brother-in-law did not have the patient to go to the same place anymore after lunch.

& I have missed the chance to have dating with dear ( =( ).

At the same night, there was a celebration for youth at Ka Fun's church.

However, since I broke up with Xiao Zhi, no one would like to invite me to the celebration anymore, include Ka Fun. Although I have prepared presents for Power Group members, I could not get a way to give them.

I have been going to the celebration for 2 years.

I thought I would attend for third year. But, because of Xiao Zhi, I did not get invite by any people.

On silent night, I went to QiQi's church for countdown.

Thanks for QiQi's brother for fetching me ( =) ).

There were very crowded. I never see so many people in her church.

Young people from Puchong branch came too ( =) ). That was why I saw many new faces suddenly.

Some of them still could recognized me, since I did not go there for half a year. The pastor could not remember me anymore. He could remember me at that time I went to the church for few weeks continuous before.

The feast tasted not bad, some of them tasted bad. I did not manage to taste the sushi, it was finished before I took the food. Well, I can buy it at Jusco, not need to scramble with them.

Their dramas were very funny, exactly our Serdang Hakka people style (XP).

Because of too many people & it was already late, it was very crowded when exchanged presents.

Because I queued on very behind, I just a decoration of snowman for my present. It was not too bad, but it would be better if I could get Famous Amos cookies (XP).

I did not join dear, sweetheart brothers, honey sisters & Jamie Chew for Sunway trip. I heard they were going for movie & meals & came back at 2am. Went shopping was their main purpose, but I did not know why they changed their minds. & that was one of the reason why I did not get any present from dear ( =( ).

& I did not join Sam Chew & Winnie for having feast in Janet's house (I thought so).

I heard they were having a great fun.

On Christmas day, I had to bring so many presents to church, since there was no cell group on Wednesday.

Honey sisters wore so sexy (wow——).

My dress was same with Jes, but I was not as sexy as her, because I have worn a coat & short pants (XD).

I saw many familiar faces, Tara, Hannah, Chris & Jo Cheah, etc have come back from Australia.

I did not see them for a long time. But, Ivan did not come back. He told that he would come back.

However, Li-Anne, Saerah, etc have gone to Singapore for Christmas trip (so envy =P ).

We sat together & made a lot of noise until did not listen to pastor (XD).

We could even have fun at where we were sitting (=.=''').

We took a lot photo with the decorations on stage after the function.

Winnie's camera does not have a good stabilizer or she used wrong program, made all the pictures blur (>.<''').

DSLR camera is the best after all! Picturers that took Nath, Victor, Liang Xin clear & pretty ( =) ).

We went for lunch at OUG plaza after that, with dear, honey family, sweetheart brothers & sisters, mummy, & daddy's friends.

2 tables——1 table was for business, economic; the other table was for gossip (=.=''').

Well, I was enjoying my second Christmas with Chinese Cell Group members very much.

I received presents from people whom I never expect they would give me.

I love all the presents especially Yang's giraffe ( =) ).

Thanks for Auntie Sharon, for the beautiful casing;

Thanks for Samuel Chong's mom, for her bracelet;

Thanks for Mummy, for the angel;

Thanks Jasmine & Jeslyn, for their earrings & photos;

Thanks Jamie & Sam, for their Ferrero Rocher;

Thanks Winnie, for the purple bookmark;

Thanks Chiow Yee, for her earrings;

Thanks ThyThy, for his toothbrush holder;

Thanks Jo Ng, for the mobile phone hanger;

Thanks sweetheart Yang brother, for his lovely giraffe!!! I love that the most!!!

for Xiao Zhi：

Last Christmas I gave you my heart

But the very next day you gave it away

This year to save me from tears

I’ll give it to someone special

Once bitten and twice shy

I keep my distance

But you still catch my eyes

Tell me baby

Do u recognize me?

Well it’s been a year

It doesn’t surprise me

Merry Christmas

I wrapped it up and sent it

With a note saying I love you I meant it

Now I know what a fool I've been

But if you kiss me now

I know u'll fool me again

for dear：

a crowded room

friends with tired eyes

I'm hiding from you

and your soul of ice

oh my I thought you were someone to rely on

me?

I guess I was a shoulder to cry on

A face on a lover with a fire in his heart

A man under cover but you tore me apart

Ooh ~

now I‘ve found a real love you'll never fool me again

Last Christmas I gave you my heart

But the very next day you gave it away

This year to save me from tears

I’ll give it to someone special

A face on a lover with a fire in his heart

A man under cover but you tore me apart

Maybe next year

I'll give it to someone

I'll give it to someone special

Habit

1/02/2010 03:59:00 PM |

Did you know that, you have become my habit?

Did you know that, I have accustomed to your morning & night greetings?

Did you know that, how I feel unaccustomed when you stop sending messages to me?

Did you know that, you have distracted me successfully from everything I was doing at that moment?

Did you know that, I have been thinking of you during my final exams?

Did you know that, you almost made me to fall in love with you?

Did you ever notice that, how I felt mad, depressed, frustrated, envy just because of you?

"Little Star" has given me a nickname - twinkle, because he said I am cute ( =) ).

So, I named him as "Little Star" because of the song "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star".

& he is getting as shine as a star & made all my sisters, even my sweetheart brothers fancy him.

I could not remember that how I knew him at the beginning.

I started to notice him because he looked like Sam Chew's colleague, Khai Mun Chan. Both of them looked alike except height & both of them are majoring in IT.

We were in astonishment after Through The Roof 3, when he sang so high on stage, made us so amazed. & after that, we have started talking about him.

I still remembered that, he just knew my name when we were in the same apartment in the M.A.D. camp 2009.

There, we started our first conversation.

I met him in church often since after that. Maybe it was the beginning of our fate.

He used to comment on my facebook profile, but we never talk to each other on chatbox before, although we talked to each other in church.

Once, I was too over in replying him comment, he was kindly advise me. It was our first time to chat online.

I gave him my mobile phone number finally at the end of November & he started sending messages to me.

It has been lasted for a month.

We sent messages to each other from morning until night.

He started to join our Chinese gang's gathering often. He even celebrated ThyThy's birthday with us.

After 1 week, I started to doubt our relationship.

We have been sms-ing from day till night everyday.

I have asked opinions from few friends, & they gave me same answer except ThyThy.

After being patient for 2 weeks, I have got an answer from him.

Undoubtedly, my sixth sense was right - he likes me. But, he did not want me to be his couple at the moment. He wanted to start from beginning according to procedures.

Well, we sms-ing as usual from day to night everyday.

I was having sweet talk with him although I have forbidden him from using any sweet talk. He never knew that, I am too good at sweet talk since I have been by those words before.

However, our messages were decreasing every week. He talked lesser to me because he was getting to adapt to his work.

& I was a quiet person, I do not like to chat about people's private stuffs unless he/she talks to me by himself/herself.

& the other reason is, I learned to be careful for not getting hurt. I have learned that guy will not appreciate unless he pays a high price for it.

I have been creating opportunities for him to get closer to me.

Thanks to my honey sisters, for inviting him to join our lunch & supper & dating, we have chance to be together.

I was sitting next to him on purpose, & I was holding his arm on purpose.

& yet, as expected, he did not want me to do that.

He knew that, I have no love feeling to him;

He knew that, he is only my dear brother, since he joined our Chinese gang;

He knew that, how hard was I in communicating with him.

He should know that, we are 2 different kind of people, from 2 different era of world, it would be suffering for me to be together with him;

He should know that, we do not have common topic to break the ice;

He should know that, I am slow in doing things but not in relationship. I will not mind to give it a try in every relationship. & I am not afraid for being hurt because I can be stronger after being hurt.

Eventually, he has stopped greeting me for morning & night at sixth week. He has been being greeted me forcefully after a month.

His reason was, everything has gone too fast & he did not get well-prepared in starting a relationship.

Did you know that, how disappointed was I when you told that you just wanted to be friend with me only?

Did you know that, how disappointed was I when you told me that, every of your acts were just an act of a normal friend?

Did you know that, how disappointed was I, when you were not intend to be together with me?

If that was what you called you like me, you have disappointed me from the very beginning!
6 weeks, it was the best he could stand for me.

Did you know that I feel envy to Winnie, who always have topics to chat with you?
Did you know that I feel jealous to my future sister-in-law, who can be sit together with you?
Did you know that I am in bad mood when girls can approach to you while I cannot?

Belle Belle ≠ Bell Bell

Love is kind; Love is patient; Love never fails. (1 Corinthians 13:4-8)

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school starting...

what am I according to you?

2nd new year with SE

2nd Christmas in HSG

Habit

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~music world~