19th Birthday

First of all, I wished myself happy birthday ( =) ).
I am 19-year-old girl from now on ( =( ).
It is my last year to be teen (so sad...).

As usual, after blowing candles for 3 cakes, I made my wishes.

First, it is for my family, include my family in blood & family in Christ. I hope all of them will be strong & healthy.
Second, it is for my studies & career. I hope I will become more excellent & brilliant, with a much more smarter brain.
Third, it is for my love & relationship. I hope I can have a boyfriend, a life partner, who will love me more than myself, as soon as possible.


Well, This year is the greatest birthday I had.
It was celebrated in 2 days continuously.
& I was shocked & tricked by them (=\). I never thought I would be caught into their trap since I've known their tricks too well. I should be smarter!


At first, they disappointed me purposely by not celebrating my birthday as grand as Yang's & ThyThy's.
Jes told that they would celebrate with me on the day before, for countdown, because most of them have leader care cell meeting & funeral service on Friday night.
She & Yang asked me to go to church after my class finished. They would celebrate it after P & W practice.
Of course, I was not that obedient. Since I was having boring classes on that day, I needed to have some fun for myself.
So, I kept telling them I was not going, with the excuses of traffic jam & tiring.
Well, it was truth. I was very tired & the traffic made me more sleepy, although Jenny was driving her car.
For paying the price, I have waited for Jamie Jie for 1 & a half hours, because I did not call her when I arrived, for not leaking a flaw to Jes & Yang.
After that, I ended up in sleeping at Chapel under loud music & singing.
Well, I did sleep deeply, but I still could listen to every people very clearly.
When I awoke, QiQi called for early birthday greeting.
She always the earliest ( =) ).
After the practice, I was brought to pasar malam OUG, having my dinner & supper at Steven's corner, with Johnny Gor, Jamie Jie, Yang & Jes The 2 pieces of cakes from Secret Recipe were played by Jes & Yang, more than I ate, though they were my birthday cakes (=.=''').
If Yang & Jes are really be together in future, it is a great thing, but we will be really annoyed by them, because both of them can be philandering publicly (>.<''').
At 12am sharp, birthday greetings were coming via sms.
The greatest birthday greeting I have received, from Onn Yeen Jie, she sang for me through voice mail (=D).
Many people did greet me via facebook too, because of the birthday reminder application (-.-''')


On Friday, I was having English composition class.
It was too bored to have class on a great Friday evening (haiz...).
The lecturer has been late for 45 minutes. Our class was too small, just few people (kesiannya)...
It was raining also. It was hard for me to go back after class. It would be crowded on road.


Well, after class, I was having my usual daily life if there were no activities.
& suddenly, I was shocked when a bunch of people appeared at the window of my computer room, at midnight, while I was online-ing.


Well, it was really surprising!
I never expect my mom would let people to come to my house at that time. She would sure scold me heavily if I did so.


However, I should have noticed it earlier. I knew them too well & I was too clear about their tricks.
Maybe because I was too sleepy, I did not realize there was something wrong.


First, my mom should have gone to sleep since everyone was already went to bed except me. I was taking nap on sofa;
Second, my mom already gave warning to me when there were many cars passed by my house;
Third, Jamie Jie would not come to my house at midnight if there is nothing urgent. & my mom's response was different than usual;
Fourth, my dog has already told me they were there, since she barked non-stop.
Fifth, I should trust my sixth sense, since I sensed that something was gonna happened.


Jes made me so creamy &  sweety. I hate that, although it was fun, because I just had my shower (aaaaarg——).
Johnny Gor always caught in dirty. His white shirt got dirty, although I was the one who was wiped by cream.
& Jes & Yang were starting philandering, played with the cream, although the cake was for me (=.=''').
ThyThy love my keyboard, which worked as piano for me, so much, till did not want to let it go.
Winnie took our messy photos. But it was too ugly for me to take, since I do not like to take photos at home. & her technique was not that good (>.<).


After that, Yang & Jes turned their target to my computer, the SDO game.
Because of them, all of us shifted our attention to the game.


Before they left, they tried to be good with my dog, who was barking at them without tiring.


It was first time for me to discover that people can have fun in my house (-.-''').


Thanks to Jas Jie's blessing, from far far away;
Thanks Jamie Jie, Johny Gor, Yang & Jes, for the prelude on Thursday night;
Thanks Jamie Jie, who leaded the way for Winnie, Johnny Gor, ThyThy, Yang & Jes to come to my house, for last minute surprise;
Thanks Onn Yeen Jie & Leen Yeen, for their dog dog;
Thanks Onn Yeen Jie, for singing birthday song for me via voice mail;
Thanks our gang, who bought me cakes for 2 days, though they were not delicious;
Thanks Amy, for her present;

Thanks Qi Qi, for her have not arrived present (XD);
Thanks my mom, for the birthday cake;
Thanks people who sent birthday greetings via sms;
Thanks people who greeted me via facebook;
Thanks to our God, who created me & brought me to this world!


THANKS EVERYONE!
It was my best birthday for my 19 years!





19 years old—
It is the time for preparing to be an adult;
It is the time to grow up;
It is the time to get up;
I shall not be soft anymore;
I shall not to be useless anymore;
I shall not be serious anymore;
I shall be mature;
I shall be strong;
I shall be proud, for those rich people who looked down at me, I will let you be regretted because of looking down at me.

P/S:
Sorry for Tabi, for not inviting her along for the celebration.

Well, it was not my fault.
I also did not know what they were going to do (-.-).


P/S:
Well, X means a kiss......
It's feminine expression of affection...
But it could also be an evil stamp of hatred...
Sure, it's where a fatal silver arrow a shoots, X marks the target spot......

——Chris Vineyard, Detective Conan


P/S:
Xiao Mei , please do not think too much. He is my sweetheart brother, though he used to nice to me & has given me some sweet memories, but everything has become history now.
Yang, thanks for your courage. I will not disappoint you.


P/S:
Dear, it is the first time & the last time for me to say I love you.
It is no use for me to continue to wait for you, who bring me no result & hurt.
& it is too silly for me to fall in love with people who is unfaithful, who have many girls at one time.
I should not be clapping with one hand anymore...
There is always hope but I do not think that I shall anticipate it for you...

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new year·new life·new look·new image·new me

School holiday on March 2008, I cut my long hair into short hair.


Short hair was starting on trend during that time.
I was trying to have a new short hair look after 17 years of long hair.
Well, almost everyone got shocked at that time, since I never cut my long hair into short before.


After a year, I grew my hair long again, & dyed it after SPM.


Well, I have been thinking it for a year, whether to let it to continue to grow longer & curl it, or cut it short.


Firstly, my mom wanted me to have long hair. Elder people always prefer girl to have long hair (=.=''').
Secondly, guys always like girls with long hair. Dear prefer me to have long hair compared to short hair.
Thirdly, I can look more mature with long hair. I did not want people always think me as secondary student.
Fourthly, I can do any style for my hair for any occasions, like prom or dinner.
Fifthly, I am preparing for my wedding photo (XP). I am planning to get marry at young age if I do have a life partner (XD).


Well, at last, I make it short!
Finally, I chose to cut it.
I rather to have a short hair compared to long hair, at least I do not need to bother it so much.


Thanks to Poh Poh, who brought me to that saloon.
Thanks to that pretty girl, who used 2 hours to cut my hair.


I feel so glad & delighted suddenly.
I have cut my past;
I have cut my sad & bad memories;
I have cut all my love to him;
I have cut all my reluctance;
I have cut the old me.


I am learning to be appreciate now, for everything God has given me, for everything Lord has sacrificed for me;
I am learning to grow up now, since I am going to become adult soon;
I am learning to be more mature now, including behaviour, personality, thinking ways, etc.


I am learning not to be so serious now, since nobody will really serious with me;
I am learning not to care so much for what people thinking about me now, since this is none of my business;
I am learning not to offer so much for anyone else, since no one will appreciate my help.


It is the time to grow up;
It is the time to rise up;
It is the time to get mature.


I am no longer the weak & soft girl anymore.
I will exceed the stronger one day.
I will prove to anyone that my hard work will be paid one day. 


God is the strength of mine.
He is the only one who will appreciate me.
He is the only one who will care for me.

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handbook for 2010

I love it.
It is a good advice, especially for unhealthy people like me (XD).

HEALTH :
1. Drink plenty of water. (I do need)
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar. (wow o.o)
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
4. Live with the 3 E ' s——Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy.
5. Make time to pray. (indeed)
6. Play more games. (Sweet =.=''')
7. Read more books than you did in 2009.
8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. (I am already too quiet >_<)
9. Sleep for 7 hours. (not enough for me XD)
10. Take a 10-30 minute walk daily. And while you walk, smile. (look like a mad girl >.<''')

PERSONALLY :
11. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about. (indeed!!!)
12. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment. (agree!)
13. Don't over do. Keep your limits. ( yup=) )
14. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does. (INDEED!!!)
15. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip. (true)
16. Dream more while you are awake. (what?!)
17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need. (Well, I have experienced it for so many times...)
18. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness. (depend...)
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others. (unless he/she makes me really frustrated)
20. Make peace with your past so it won' t spoil the present.
21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you. (true)
22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
23. Smile and laugh more. (-.-''')
24. You don ' t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree. (strongly agree!)

SOCIETY :
25. Call your family often.
26. Each day give something good to others. (where I can get the money from?)
27. Forgive everyone for everything. (depends...)
28.. Spend time w/ people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6. (what?!)
29. Try to make at least three people smile each day. (it's the clown's job, isn't it?)
30. What other people think of you is none of your business. (STRONGLY AGREE!!!)
31. Your job won ' t take care ofyou when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch. (impossible)

LIFE :
32. Do the right thing! (I wonder what's the right thing to do?)
33. Get rid of anything that isn ' t useful, beautiful or joyful.
34. GOD heals everything. (Amen)
35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
37. The best is yet to come.
38. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.
39. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.

BELIEVE IN YOURSELF, CONSIDER THINGS FROM EVERY ANGLE, DON'T GIVE UP AND DON'T GIVE IN.
ENJOY LIFE TODAY; YESTERDAY IS GONE AND TOMORROW MAY NEVER COME.
FAMILY AND FRIENDS ARE HIDDEN TREASURES.

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school starting...

11/1/2010, third semester was starting.
I need to go to that stupid school again.


Well, I am having my third semester in first year. I am senior for freshie (=P).


Time passed so fast (haiz...). I have studied in Segi College for half a year already.
Now, I am getting to fit into the college life already. I am glad that I have known some good friends & classmates & schoolmates. Ms. Chantini, Mr. Francis can recognize & remember me well now ( =) ).


I am taking English composition II, management principle, intercultural communication & principle of sociology for this semester.
All are hard subjects for me( =( ).


Firstly, I am not good at writing essays on the spot. I have no idea whenever the lecturer asks us to write an essay on the spot & hand in immediately ( =( ). Moreover, I am good at writing love story or imaginative, but not at argumentative essay or academic composition. That is the reason why I always slow & fail at writing essay during exam ( =( ).


Secondly, Ms Padma has been my lecturer for basic composition I during my first semester. I have known her well. She is nice but strict. We have to do all the assignment perfectly to get marks from her. I feel stress in her class ( =( )


Thirdly, Ms Jamie has been my philosophy class's lecturer. She is much more stricter than Ms Padma & too responsible. She is moody. We need to observe her mood on that day during class. If she is in good mood, she will treat well to us & vise versa. In addition, We have to finish all the assignments & present every presentation in the most perfect way to get marks. She really gives us a lot of assignments & presentations due to the reason to get pass for that particular subject ( =\ ). Her classes always make me stressful & can not sleep well during tests & before the due date of hand in the assignments.


Fourthly, I do not know any theories of business core so I will feel a bit hard to catch up with classmates especially when doing the assignments. I can do business but I cannot study business. I do not know how to apply the theories in order to answer the questions that asked (=\). Mr Lee has taught us a lot of theories of marketing principle, but I could not answer situational questions (=\). Ms Linda teaches a lot of theory of management principle but she can teach until I feel asleep in her class (XP)


Well, I have to face reality after all. Whatever trouble I am facing now, I have to be confident & face up bravely & learn not to escape like last time. If other people can pass through all the difficulties & can have achievement, I can do that too.


GAMBATEH!!!

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what am I according to you?

Who am I according to you?
What am I according to you?


Why you are cool & cold to me?
Which location am I in your heart?
Where are you when I need you most?


How dare you to make sad?


According to you
I'm stupid
I'm useless
I can't do anything right


According to you
I'm difficult
hard to please
forever changing my mind


I'm a mess in a dress
can't show up on time
even if it would save my life


But according to him
I'm beautiful
incredible
he can't get me out of his head


According to him
I'm funny
irresistible
everything he ever wanted


Everything is opposite
I don't feel like stopping it
so baby tell me what I got to lose


He's into me for everything I'm not
according to you


According to you
I'm boring
I'm moody
you can't take me any place


According to you
I suck at telling jokes
cause I always give it away


I'm the girl with the worst attention span
you're the boy who puts up with it


I need to feel appreciated
like I'm not hated
why can't you see me through his eyes
it's too bad you making me decide


According to me
You're stupid
you're useless
You can't do anything right

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2nd new year with SE

"MERRY NEW YEAR!!!"


I learned this phrase from Keith & Wai Ye.


(Wow!!!) Time really flew without my notice.
I have not finished enjoying my 18th years old & yet my 19th birthday is coming.
I have wasted half of year of 2009 because I was in lost for choosing college & course; I have wasted another half of the year because I was trying to adapt into new school environment & failed general psychology (=.=''').


Well, finally, I was studying in Segi College Subang Jaya although it was not my will.
ADP course is my target, but, since I did not have the ability to study oversea, & Segi College has fulfilled the conditions, I was forced to study there.
So far, the best thing I have come across, I have known some 'whole brand new friends', who have taught me a lot, let me know that how true is the society & how big is the world outside my range.
I have known some brothers, whom I have met them but did not know them before. Aaron & Nath, who started to know my existence after M.A.D. camp.
& I never thought that many of my old school mates were studying at there.


Although I have faced many troubles in doing assignments & studying, I have passed it at last. I hope that I will doing my best starting from 3rd semester. & I have to be very serious eventually.


On the other hand, I was starting my first year of Christian life journey in 2009.
& I have baptized at less than 1-year-old(=/)
It was the boldest thing I have done(=/)
I have made so many new friends & known so many brothers & sisters in HSG.
I have transferred from English service to Chinese Service (=/).
I am so glad that I can serve God in Chinese Ministry. Finally, I can do something for my God ( =) ).
I have given a job in LCD department.
I have done my performances for OI function for my very first time.
I sincerely hope that I can be promoted to be the Head of the LCD department within this year & will not be lost to the English Ministry, on my own, without help from other people anymore (=P).
I really hope that I can play piano for P & W, since I am learning piano now, but it will take more time (=/).


Well, to welcome the coming year 2010, I was invited by youth to celebrate with them at Desa Petaling.


Last year, we were countdown in HSG. That was my first time to stay at church until so late & celebrated new year with friends.
That time, I was not too close with SE members, so I just followed Sam Chew wherever he went.
Well, I expected he would go for crazy for whole night & I told my mom that I would stay at his house. But, I never told her that they were so crazy until morning & drank alcohol (-.-''').


This year, because of renovation of church, there was no watch night in church.
Since Chew family has gone to Penang, honey family has gone to Genting Highlands, Yang told that he was going for his high school  barbecue gathering, Chiow Yee planned for clubbing, there was no plan from our gang.


However, I had so many invitations suddenly, made me so surprised. I never thought that I would receive so many invitations at the same time.


There were 2 gatherings from high schoolmate, one was at Ben Yap's house, played for the whole night & then watched fireworks at the small hill near my house; the other one was at Yong Kien's house, barbecue gathering.
There was also a gathering from Power Group as usual on Thursday, at uncle Li Nan's house.


Yet, it seemed like I have already made my choice, haven't I?


I did not think I would like to join Ben's group because I have seen them on the day before.
I would like to join the barbecue gathering but I did not want to see Mr. Hoe Zi Ping, the annoying guy once.
I would like to join Power Group, since I have not seen them for months.


However, finally, I did not change my decision. I was still joining SE.


Well, there were some transport problems before we left.
At the destinations, there was a nice landscape, although it was not as nice as Ampang Look Up Point.
But, we were feeding by mosquitoes especially our blood group of B (-.-''').
Although there were not many people, we were having a good time, watched fireworks & singing.
Kok Jen, Vic & me left early & did not join them for drinks because Kok Jen is not a night person.


After all, it was not bad at all to celebrate new year in this simple way, no need to spend money for celebration.


P/S: Happy New Year, Dear. I Miss You.
Your morning greetings are my energy to start my day; your night greetings are the sweet dream for me. You know that, you have become my habit, you have made me to have a habit that  checking messages on my phone once a while.

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2nd Christmas in HSG

I was celebrating my 1-year-old birthday of Christian life on 14/12/2009.
I was celebrating my second Christmas in HSG.
I am going to have my second year in HSG.


Unlike last  year, I have not known many friends so I did not received any presents except from Sam Chew.
This year, I was celebrating with my brothers & sisters. I have made so many friends in HSG & I needed to prepare so many presents (wow!). I never bought so many presents once before.


I went shopping straight away after I finished my final paper.
I have never been shopping for almost everyday non-stop before. & I have never spent so much money at once (wow, my pocket money all gone now). & I was playing truant for my piano class because of shopping (>.<''').


I felt so excited before Christmas was coming.
I never had this feeling before. Maybe because of I did not celebrate with friends before. Or maybe because of I was celebrating with my dear, darling, sweetheart brothers, honey sisters.


We were having Christmas OI on 20/12/2009.
I just finished remembering all the steps 3 days before. & I was not very familiar even though we have practiced it for many times.
Well, on that day on stage, I was messed up with everything because of nervous (=/)
I was not nervous at the beginning, but I was in a mess when I saw dear (lol, all blamed dear=/)


Through this OI function, I have known a magician——Lee Zhi Seng, who used to be our church member. He has performed a great magic show for us ( =) ).
& he wanna me to be his gf very obviously.
Well, although I want to have a bf, I would not have chosen him because of his strength——magic show. This type of relationship would not be last long (=P).


We were discussing to go skating in Sunway. 
Due to we could not find any parking, we headed to Puchong for lunch (=/).
Well, we found 2 parkings at one time after 1 hour, but Jamie wasted it ( =( ).


Sam Chew have found a parking & they went for skating as what we have discussed before.
But, honey sisters & brother-in-law did not have the patient to go to the same place anymore after lunch.
& I have missed the chance to have dating with dear ( =( ).


At the same night, there was a celebration for youth at Ka Fun's church.
However, since I broke up with Xiao Zhi, no one would like to invite me to the celebration anymore, include Ka Fun. Although I have prepared presents for Power Group members, I could not get a way to give them.
I have been going to the celebration for 2 years.
I thought I would attend for third year. But, because of Xiao Zhi, I did not get invite by any people.


On silent night, I went to QiQi's church for countdown.
Thanks for QiQi's brother for fetching me ( =) ).
There were very crowded. I never see so many people in her church.
Young people from Puchong branch came too ( =) ). That was why I saw many new faces suddenly. 
Some of them still could recognized me, since I did not go there for half a year. The pastor could not remember me anymore. He could remember me at that time I went to the church for few weeks continuous before.
The feast tasted not bad, some of them tasted bad. I did not manage to taste the sushi, it was finished before I took the food. Well, I can buy it at Jusco, not need to scramble with them.
Their dramas were very funny, exactly our Serdang Hakka people style (XP).
Because of too many people & it was already late, it was very crowded when exchanged presents.
Because I queued on very behind, I just a decoration of snowman for my present. It was not too bad, but it would be better if I could get Famous Amos cookies (XP).


I did not join dear, sweetheart brothers, honey sisters & Jamie Chew for Sunway trip. I heard they were going for movie & meals & came back at 2am. Went shopping was their main purpose, but I did not know why they changed their minds. & that was one of the reason why I did not get any present from dear ( =( ).


& I did not join Sam Chew & Winnie for having feast in Janet's house (I thought so).
I heard they were having a great fun.


On Christmas day, I had to bring so many presents to church, since there was no cell group on Wednesday.
Honey sisters wore so sexy (wow——).
My dress was same with Jes, but I was not as sexy as her, because I have worn a coat & short pants (XD).


I saw many familiar faces, Tara, Hannah, Chris & Jo Cheah, etc have come back from Australia.
I did not see them for a long time. But, Ivan did not come back. He told that he would come back.
However, Li-Anne, Saerah, etc have gone to Singapore for Christmas trip (so envy =P ).


We sat together & made a lot of noise until did not listen to pastor (XD).
We could even have fun at where we were sitting (=.=''').
We took a lot photo with the decorations on stage after the function.
Winnie's camera does not have a good stabilizer or she used wrong program, made all the pictures blur (>.<''').


DSLR camera is the best after all! Picturers that took Nath, Victor, Liang Xin clear & pretty ( =) ).


We went for lunch at OUG plaza after that, with dear, honey family, sweetheart brothers & sisters, mummy, & daddy's friends.
2 tables——1 table was for business, economic; the other table was for gossip (=.=''').


Well, I was enjoying my second Christmas with Chinese Cell Group members very much.
I received presents from people whom I never expect they would give me.
I love all the presents especially Yang's giraffe ( =) ).


Thanks for Auntie Sharon, for the beautiful casing;
Thanks for Samuel Chong's mom, for her bracelet;
Thanks for Mummy, for the angel;
Thanks Jasmine & Jeslyn, for their earrings & photos;
Thanks Jamie & Sam, for their Ferrero Rocher;
Thanks Winnie, for the purple bookmark;
Thanks Chiow Yee, for her earrings;
Thanks ThyThy, for his toothbrush holder;
Thanks Jo Ng, for the mobile phone hanger;


Thanks sweetheart Yang brother, for his lovely giraffe!!! I love that the most!!!


for Xiao Zhi:

Last Christmas I gave you my heart
But the very next day you gave it away
This year to save me from tears
I’ll give it to someone special


Once bitten and twice shy
I keep my distance
But you still catch my eyes
Tell me baby
Do u recognize me?
Well it’s been a year
It doesn’t surprise me


Merry  Christmas
I wrapped it up and sent it
With a note saying I love you I meant it
Now I know what a fool I've been
But if you kiss me now
I know u'll fool me again


for dear:
a crowded room
friends with tired eyes
I'm hiding from you
and your soul of ice
oh my I thought you were someone to rely on
me?
I guess I was a shoulder to cry on
A face on a lover with a fire in his heart
A man under cover but you tore me apart


Ooh ~
now I‘ve found a real love you'll never fool me again


Last Christmas I gave you my heart
But the very next day you gave it away
This year to save me from tears
I’ll give it to someone special


A face on a lover with a fire in his heart
A man under cover but you tore me apart
Maybe next year
I'll give it to someone
I'll give it to someone special

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Habit

Did you know that, you have become my habit?


Did you know that, I have accustomed to your morning & night greetings?
Did you know that, how I feel unaccustomed when you stop sending messages to me?
Did you know that, you have distracted me successfully from everything I was doing at that moment?
Did you know that, I have been thinking of you during my final exams?
Did you know that, you almost made me to fall in love with you?


Did you ever notice that, how I felt mad, depressed, frustrated, envy just because of you?


"Little Star" has given me a nickname - twinkle, because he said I am cute ( =) ).
So, I named him as "Little Star" because of the song "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star".
& he is getting as shine as a star & made all my sisters, even my sweetheart brothers fancy him.


I could not remember that how I knew him at the beginning.
I started to notice him because he looked like Sam Chew's colleague, Khai Mun Chan. Both of them looked alike except height & both of them are majoring in IT.


We were in astonishment after Through The Roof 3, when he sang so high on stage, made us so amazed. & after that, we have started talking about him.


I still remembered that, he just knew my name when we were in the same apartment in the M.A.D. camp 2009.
There, we started our first conversation.


I met him in church often since after that. Maybe it was the beginning of our fate.
He used to comment on my facebook profile, but we never talk to each other on chatbox before, although we talked to each other in church.


Once, I was too over in replying him comment, he was kindly advise me. It was our first time to chat online.


I gave him my mobile phone number finally at the end of November & he started sending messages to me.


It has been lasted for a month.
We sent messages to each other from morning until night.
He started to join our Chinese gang's gathering often. He even celebrated ThyThy's birthday with us.


After 1 week, I started to doubt our relationship.
We have been sms-ing from day till night everyday.
I have asked opinions from few friends, & they gave me same answer except ThyThy.
After being patient for 2 weeks, I have got an answer from him.


Undoubtedly, my sixth sense was right - he likes me. But, he did not want me to be his couple at the moment. He wanted to start from beginning according to procedures.


Well, we sms-ing as usual from day to night everyday.
I was having sweet talk with him although I have forbidden him from using any sweet talk. He never knew that, I am too good at sweet talk since I have been by those words before.


However, our messages were decreasing every week. He talked lesser to me because he was getting to adapt to his work.
& I was a quiet person, I do not like to chat about people's private stuffs unless he/she talks to me by himself/herself.
& the other reason is, I learned to be careful for not getting hurt. I have learned that guy will not appreciate unless he pays a high price for it.


I have been creating opportunities for him to get closer to me.
Thanks to my honey sisters, for inviting him to join our lunch & supper & dating, we have chance to be together.


I was sitting next to him on purpose, & I was holding his arm on purpose.
& yet, as expected, he did not want me to do that.


He knew that, I have no love feeling to him;
He  knew that, he is only my dear brother, since he joined our Chinese gang;
He knew that, how hard was I in communicating with him.


He should know that, we are 2 different kind of people, from 2 different era of world, it would be suffering for me to be together with him;
He should know that, we do not have common topic to break the ice;
He should know that, I am slow in doing things but not in relationship. I will not mind to give it a try in every relationship. & I am not afraid for being hurt because I can be stronger after being hurt.


Eventually, he has stopped greeting me for morning & night at sixth week. He has been being  greeted me forcefully after a month.
His reason was, everything has gone too fast & he did not get well-prepared in starting a relationship.


Did you know that, how disappointed was I when you told that you just wanted to be friend with me only?
Did you know that, how disappointed was I when you told me that, every of your acts were just an act of a normal friend?
Did you know that, how disappointed was I, when you were not intend to be together with me?


If that was what you called you like me, you have disappointed me from the very beginning!
6 weeks, it was the best he could stand for me.


Did you know that I feel envy to Winnie, who always have topics to chat with you?
Did you know that I feel jealous to my future sister-in-law, who can be sit together with you?
Did you know that I am in bad mood when girls can approach to you while I cannot?

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